Thursday, March 19, 2009

Trust Issues

So recently I have realized that I have some real significant issues that should be addressed in my life if I want to go forward in my life. I suppose there are worse things to struggle with but I do have some significant wounds that need to be healed. The problem is that I've been trying to heal them myself whether I knew it or not. Now school is forcing me to take a good look inside myself and see one what others and God see and two what really is inside my heart. This can be a very enlightening experience and "nice" if you will. It can also be hell. So far I have gone through both. I have fought the process and hated it. I have even tried to pass over the process and get to the results. Unfortunately it does not work like that. I will never truly be changed or healed without help. My help will more specifically only come from God. Notice I said "only." I have spent long enough hiding from Him and trying to do all on my own. Yes I have control issues too. But now by some help from others, prayer and God himself I am beginning to see some differences. Not really a difference I can write or put on paper. But I have the evidence of change by me not avoiding or ignoring the process anymore. I have realized that I am in the middle of a process. A process that really could take the time frame of my whole life and you know what, I'm proud to say I'm actually okay with that...for now anyway! :)

Please continue to pray for me and my transformation into a woman that I continually hope to be. Below is a link to a website I thought was insightful about this subject.

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