Friday, September 25, 2009

God gave us a Mirror for our Wedding present

"What marriage has done for me is hold up a mirror to my sin. It forces me to face myself honestly and consider my character flaws, selfishness and anti-Christian attitudes encouraging me to be sanctified and cleansed and to grow in godliness (Thomas, 2000, 93)." Thomas shows couples that marriage is difficult mostly because it puts a mirror up to the individual. It is almost impossible to be married and not see your own sin. This can become quite difficult for individuals and bring much suffering. Thomas explains how he thought he was a seemingly nice, polite man before marrying and found that it became difficult to be all the time. He found that perhaps this was because he had never been close enough to an individual to see the real him (Thomas, 2000, 93).

I can relate to what Thomas is telling his readers about seeing ourselves in a new light or with a mirror. I had dated my husband for five and half years and thought I knew everything it was to know about him, myself and how we function in our relationship, until I got married. Although those years definitely helped our life, today there was much more hidden away for us to learn about each other. Right before I was to be married I had a huge realization that from now on I would not just be dealing with my sins or burdens but my husband’s as well. This thought frightened me. I kept thinking all these years I have had so much trouble dealing with my own problems how will I be able to truly take on another’s as well. The next time I thought about this again was when I was already married a couple months in, and my husband called me out on something. This was very new for me because during our dating years this hardly happened. He proclaimed to me that I was just yelling at him because I really was frustrated about something else. I was super surprised for the first time to be looking at my own sin in this loving relationship. My first thought was "well alright then." I knew deep down he was right, I did do that, all the time really. It was very natural for me to use him as a punching bag when I felt a sense of uncertainty in my life. I knew after that day that marriage brought me a mirror if not a magnified mirror to show every pore of my sinful being.

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