Thomas explains that marriage is also like an individual is under camera surveillance. When a married couple took their vows they gave up the right to privacy. From this day forth the couples, including myself will have to live with knowing that there is another going through life with you all hours, everyday (Thomas, 2000, 95). This true sense of accountability can be difficult at times but it also can lead us to the kind of holiness that Thomas speaks of in Sacred Marriage. I know personally that was an interesting realization for me. That from the time I said I do, I would always be with this person, meaning he would be watching what I watched, ate, how I talked about others, and so on. Although this sometimes brings guilt or conviction, it also has brought me to a point of wanting to be better. My husband inspires me to become the better version of myself. He almost never has to tell me what I did wrong or said poorly I just know by knowing him and what I know he is thinking. I know for the most part what he would say and what about a topic, therefore I am able to anticipate when what I said was unforgiving or harsh. He truly represents part of the body of Christ in our home and family unit which in return helps me suffer at times because I cannot just be who I am, but rather I am challenged. Sometimes I am challenged and drag my heels or possibly go kicking and screaming but my husband’s presence ultimately leads me to change. Although suffering is difficult I know that I must take it on because that is truly the only road to take to find true change in my heart. It will not be easy to be in marriage, just as Thomas says, but it can bring me closer to Christ, which is something I long for.
"The ultimate purpose of this book is not to make you love your spouse more--although I think that will happen along the way. It’s to equip you to love your God more and to help you reflect the character of his Son more precisely (Thomas, 2000, 26)." Thomas’s purpose for the book is also the purpose of marriages. Marriages were not created to find more delight but rather to learn how to love correctly. This meaning to learn how to love God and others in a new and revolutionary way or in other words like Christ did. My marriage has unveiled the real me with all my flaws and imperfections which is never fun or easy to encounter. One thing I have found through marriage is that it is difficult to love well on our own. I only can find comfort in the fact that through the Spirit, the Bible and Christ’s example, I can find how to love others including my spouse well. I thought I was really good at loving others and being helpful or other-centered before marriage. Although I am usually good at those honorable characteristics I am human and have a dark sinful nature that brings up selfishness and laziness to make for a poor excuse for a Christ-centered, loving servant. Thank goodness for grace, the grace Christ gave us and the grace my husband so naturally and patiently gives to me regularly. I think my marriage has truly been given to me directly by Christ not to feed off of for my own sake but rather for the purpose of equipping me and my spouse to learn how to be more Christ-like.